The Coronavirus lockdown is going to be a big part of the history our kids will read about. Hopefully the lockdown will be the craziest thing that happens in our decade, which ends in a party like the Great Gatsby. So what are the most historical moments from last year? Honestly, we don’t care. We just want to talk about the most ridiculous stuff.
Right as everyone went inside, this little gem just happened to pop up on Netflix. It wasn’t something anyone was proud of, but we all watched it by ourselves thinking about the petty drama of tiger keepers while the world was ending. The memes that came out of this show kept instagram interesting, and the caged tigers became suddenly relatable. Who would have known this would be just a precursor to Florida taking news headlines again and again.
The People who Set Up A Food Cart Outside The Capital Riots
It wouldn’t be the end of Democracy as we know it without hot dogs. The person who set up a cart to feed the rioters outside of the capitol showed us all that capitalism is possible at any time. Rioters who needed a snack break from trying to start the revolution gave us a very charming picture that will never be forgotten. How they managed to get permits for this location is still a mystery, but makes for one hell of a great picture.
The Four Seasons Landscaping Press Conference
Trump must have thought he scored the deal of a lifetime when he got a low priced deal for a press conference at the Four Seasons. Actually, he managed to make one of the most hilarious mistakes in the history of public mistakes. If this were high school, he would never live that down. This landscaping company will forever go down as absolute legends.
When Rudi Guliani’s Head Started Leaking
As Guliani was going on about how the election was completely rigged, his head started leaking. Nothing says how a person has uncovered liars, like their hair color coming uncovered. Nobody will remember whatever ridiculous thing he was talking about, but those leaky streaks will go down in history. Whoever owns the Non Fungible Token on this is going to make a killing.
Gamestop Almost Broke Wallstreet
The completely unprofessional and highly illogical forums on reddit told everyone to bet on Gamestop, and it almost brought Wallstreet down. They had to stop the training of the stock multiple times, and brought the person who was posting his gains into the SEC for questioning. In a time where the world appeared to be completely upside down, some poor people got rich.
When Everyone was Rioting
Lockdown was so unpopular that it got both the Left and Right ends of the political spectrum rioting. It started with the Right, who wanted haircuts and to go inside of shops again, and ended with the Left who wanted racial equality. One side was tear gassed for raiding Target, and the other tried to kidnap the Governor of Michigan.
Florida Never Shut Down
While everyone went inside to watch Tiger King during lockdown, Florida was out there living it. When a person looks at Florida man news headlines however, it comes to light they might have more to worry about than a deadly pandemic. But lets face it, we were all a little jealous of their continued party while we had to sit inside and order takeout sushi (and we know some of you went there for secret vacation).
The now self titled Techno King of Tesla managed to make all sorts of headlines for his stocks performance. He landed a rocket that promptly blew up, while a Japanese billionaire said he’d take someone, “adventurous” into space with him (yikes). He also found out that celebrities can move markets rapidly by saying things like, “Dogecoin is the people’s coin”. The SEC never seems to leave him alone, and Elon Musk really is one sassy bitch.
Never forget the sassy power of self indulgent people. While most of us were stuck inside wishing we could have an awkward time with strangers at concerts and bars, some people were still being awkward in public. While the history books will likely remember these events as something serious, lets never forget how strange and funny a lot of this year has actually been. If for whatever reason we missed something, please comment below.