Krampus, The Evil Cousin of Santa Clause

There is a lot of mall Santa potential behind the spirit of Krampus. Half demon, half goat cousin of Saint Nicolas, Krampus has sadly been buried beneath the commercial profits of Christmas. The tradition is rich, mysterious, and obviously comes out of Germany.

Krampus comes to kids deep on the naughty list, who dont care about receiving coal because they would probably use it to burn the house down. Being adults, they did the mature thing to better the lives of their children. Dressing up as a half goat half demon, parents were allowed to get drunk and hit their kids with sticks in the spirit of the season. There was also the potential to stuff kids into a sack and carry them down to hell, which must have been tempting during he long dark winters of Germany.

In a move that probably cut down on the salaries of all therapists in Germany, Krampus was phased out of Christmas around the time of World War Two. The Catholic Church officially decided to distance itself from Santa’s Demon cousin, but it was also likely that commercial sales were somehow damaged by threatening children with half goat demons.

Christmas cards and holiday gatherings have since been sorely missing the entertaining potential of the spirit of Krampus, which might be handy during the year 2020. A half goat demon figure who could beat anti-maskers with a stick in the mall would be a real boon to modern society. Whatever the fate of dear Krampus in the years to come, let’s make sure the traumatizing spirit of Santa’s Cousin will never been forgotten.