How to be the Best at Being Egoless

There’s a lot of chatter happening in the halls of the yoga studio. People will say things like, “It’s important to be humble” and, “my soul is feeling peace” but that’s just bush league bullshit. The person who is best at yoga doesn’t just have skills on the matt, they are also the one’s can talk the biggest game in the yoga in the halls. There is no greater way to show dominance than showing everyone that your egoless game is on fleek.

Ego Death

Nothing is more dramatic than death. Killing the ego? How very noble. Mention how ego death has revolutionized your entire life, because life is no longer about living for yourself. The fact that you are using the death of your ego to boost your self-image is a great way to get the leg up on potential competition, which will make your ego feel even better. Lets see them Namaskar out of that one!

Crown Chakra Power

Crowns are worn by kings and nothing says yoga royalty like a boasting the crown chakra. Lots of basic fools will talk about their root chakra, because it’s the easiest chakra to wrap an explanation around. Besides, nobody really knows what the Crown Chakra does so other people will just have to assume its something good. Its time to ascend.

Decalcified Pineal Gland

Anyone who is anyone knows that everyone has a dirty pineal gland. Was that clear enough? It shouldn’t be. Boasting a decalcified pineal gland should be something kind of quizzical, which is why it can help you win yoga. Tell people about the PH quality of water, and how common foods will actually make that gland murky. It’s not just spirit science, its winning.

Forgive and Forget

Everyone should be more forgiving, and telling people about that is a way of showing superiority. Forgetting? Mention all the times people have been in the wrong, but were forgiven by you because of the egoless-ness you poses. Remember every little thing someone did. Never forget what you had to forgive and tell people all the times something went wrong but was “forgiven” by your benevolent nature.

Ego is kind of like the person we are in the fantasy world that happens in our own head. Telling people how you are the master of that little show will make them elevate your status in their own head. By telling people that certain buzzwords are firmly under your control, perhaps everyone can finally just see how superior of an astrological being you really are. Bless up.

Moments that Nature Healed During Lockdown

People being forced inside made the natural world a better place. In short, our not being around led to nature healing. What this says about humanity is really scathing and a little uncalled for. We’ve gone ahead and put together a list of the most iconic moments that happened when people around the world were forced to stay inside. Hopefully, they make this trash fire of a year seem a little more worthwhile.

Clear Canals in Venice

Who knew so many tourists were peeing in the canals? Anyway, they are pretty clear now for the first time in ages, and even though no tourists were around around to see it, the fish really liked it. Swans and dolphins even came back, which is majestic as shit.

Elephants Got Drunk

Even though people could no longer go out and party, that did not hold back the elephants. A group of 14 elephants took advantage of the coronavirus to have a big old party in the field of a Yuan province. Now elephants know what it is to have a hangover and promise to never do it again. Until they do. 

Wild Goats Take Over a Town In Whales

It took a global pandemic for these majestic creatures to feel confident roaming the streets again. As people stayed in at Whales, the goats came out. People got some very quaint pictures of the real inhabitants retaking the streets. Let’s make sure this stays a regular thing.

Seeing the Himalayas from Delhi

The Himalayas haven’t been visible from India’s capital in the last 200 years, an insanely long period of time. Housing values must be soaring now that their balconies can boast views of the Himalayas. People can take a deep healthy breath during yoga out there now. Nature is healing.

Monkey Wars of Thailand

Who would have thought a guy eating a bat would lead to monkey wars in Thailand? Without any tourists to steal food from, monkeys in Thailand formed into packs and started a war. Much like modern gangs, monkeys banded together to fight over the territory left with good scraps like they were in the movie Highlander. 

Huge Rats in New York City

When the people left New York City during the peak of the pandemic, rats moved in. Peoples apartments now had rats sleeping in their beds, eating their food, and potentially even working their jobs. Individuals unfortunate enough not to have been left a trust fund by their parents were forced to confront this new huge rat problem, which could not have been pleasant.

Nature has been healing, and in some cases getting alarmingly stronger. As everyone turns the corner on 2020, lets just remember that things can always be this beautiful and nice if we just band together as a team and treat the environment well. But lets not turn our backs on the rats… Those bastards can continue living like its 2019.