Painful Reasons That Might Be Waking You Up In The Night

Ever wake up in the middle of the night and just think, why? We know, its bullshit. There are a ton of reasons why a person might wake up in the middle of the night, and we’ve decided to outline which ones were the most annoying, and regretful. 

Ate too much taco bell

The human body really starts rejecting taco bell after the age of 25. Taco bell meat has a worse rating than dog food, but it isn’t really noticeable until 3 am when explosive gasses begin forming somewhere the lower intestines. Hard to fall asleep with that kind of rocket engine propelling people across their beds.

Ghost sounds

Nothing is scarier than waking up in the middle of the night and fearing that a ghost is coming to eat your soul. Old house creaking and the tiny footsteps of little demon dolls will get anyone hiding under their bedsheets. Feet sticking off the end of the bed? Great way to entice that demon under the bed to drag someone into hell. Perhaps the only reason to eat taco bell before bed is to scare these little demons away with stinky farts.

That thing from back in 3rd grade that was super embarrassing

Ever called the teacher Mom and the whole class laughed? Well if that piece of trauma was somehow blocked out, the body might find a way of waking up to remind you at 3 am. Enjoy the next 5 hours of self inflicted emotional trauma, because there another time where the gym teacher got called dad.

Early exposure to hangover

Sometimes when a hangover is feeling especially nasty, it will wake the sleeper up at 4am to spend more time together. When alcohol gets processed by that overly abused liver, it turns into sugar, which turns into a sugar rush in the middle of the night. Sit back and enjoy the pain, because sleep will now be impossible. This one might be the worst.

That argument from last week which should have played out different

Its so annoying to lose arguments that the mind will actually go over different ways it could have played out so that it won. The only issue with this happening at 3am, is that you are actually losing all over again, because now the rest of the day is gonna be tired all day tomorrow. Say hi to those baggy eyes and people that say, “You look tired.” as though that isn’t the most annoying thing to hear after a night of no sleep. 

Nobody wants to wake up in the middle of the night, because it brings all sorts of creepy and gassy consequences. If only there was a way to actually get the body back to sleep, but there really isnt. We didn’t really intend to help you out with this, but its better to suffer in company than all alone. Now close your laptop and go the fuck to sleep. 

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