How To Cope With A Non Spiritual Roommate

The day has finally come, and that person off craigslist is setting up their toaster. When the topic of healing crystals and zodiac signs comes up, they actually don’t believe in that kind of thing. This obviously cannot be tolerated. Here is a list of method’s for pushing that non spiritual roommate into becoming a believer. Crack a hard Kombucha and let the vortex of power pulsate through everyone’s third eye.

1) Put healing crystals in all of their things

Who doesn’t love healing crystals? Roommates with negative energy, thats who. Place some of the spare healing crystals that were lying around the house in their shoes, pockets of jackets, hat brims, sock drawers, anywhere. Even put them on the floor by the bathroom in the middle of the night, so that if they step on it by accident, ancient power will shoot through the foot, up the spinal column, and into the third eye.

2) Photoshop their face onto known spiritual leaders, print those out, and put them around the house. 

If they are really having this much trouble getting a hint about becoming more spiritual, then maybe its time give them a real vision of what it could look like. Placing their face on famous spiritual people is the perfect example of how spirituality can change their lives. Waking up to pictures of Ghandi with their face on them all over the house? Glorious.

3) Take over all common space for baby goat yoga

A bunch of goats doing yoga in the living room will make anyone spiritual. Goats are not only cute, but have strong ties to the world of pentagrams and full moon spirit circles. Place goats all over the house for them to be constantly reminded of the inner spirit that drives them. Put goats in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and in their car. Chataranga.

4) Write Kabbalah symbol’s on little sheets of paper

This one should really be practiced more extensively. Write some Kabbalah power phrases on sheets of paper, and put them under the middle of their mattress, inside the pockets of their clothes, behind picture frames, and in the gas tank of their car. If they start to think they are being haunted for some reason, that is a sign that they are in fact getting more spiritual. 

5) Daily affirmations on the refrigerator, specific to your roommates life.

Find out intimate details about their life, day, and current affairs. This can easily be done by reading a personal journal or via phone hacking. Take these events, and write spiritual affirmations specific to these events. They will most likely be changed by the power of their coincidence, and the knowledge that spirituality has over their life.

6) A forest of money trees.

For any regularly spiritual house, one or two money trees will help balance the energy quite nicely. If this roommate is not spiritual, you will likely need a small forest of money trees. Anywhere from 20-45 trees will do the trick. Don’t worry about having too many as there will be goats all over the house to eat them. An unexpected but welcome side effect of these trees might be that money does in fact grow on trees, and the government has been lying about that. 

7) Paint Sanskrit Power Verbs on the Wall

Sanskrit is one of the oldest, most powerful languages out there. Many claim Sanskrit can do magic, while others are actually out there converting their roommates with it. A quick google images search will bring up plenty of sanskrit to start painting with. Doesn’t matter what the phrase says. Put this behind the dry wall, under the tables, and inside of their furniture around the house. Get ready to feel ancient power radiating from the walls.

8) Burn incense all of the time

Nothing says spirit like some sandalwood or pachuli. Try and have at least one burning just about all the time. If the roommate tries to complain about the smell, say that its your laundry detergent, or that one of the gas pipes is leaking in the house. Perhaps even say that it isn’t them who finds the smell disagreeable, but the negative vibrations inside of them. That might wake them up!

While dealing with a non spiritual roommate can be very difficult load on anyones energy levels, it is not impossible to change their mind and their life. Take this list into your house and start making those aggressive positive changes that are needed. Its time to take your house back to the thriving hive of positive energy that it needs to be!

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s